(ignore the feet...lol)
The other night as I was drifting off to sleep, old memories were floating through my mind. I had a house fire 9 years ago, nearly died in it, lost both my cat Foutchie, and Dawn Thompson's Mizz Fuzz. When Dawn was dying, I told her I would take Mizz Fuzz, an elderly kitty. Fuzz traveled from New York to Kentucky, and ultimately made a place in our hearts and home. It hurt so much to lose the two cats, that I was numb for a long time. I forgot in that grief - losing the cats, losing everything, losing the whole-- for you will grieve for that loss too, I forgot that my husband had given me a sundial for our anniversary over 20 years before. I walked off from that mess and never looked back-- and left the sundial. I was in crippling pain, for it has "Grow old with me the best is yet to be". SOMETHING that I could have held onto from "that life", something from him. Well, I howled like a baby, but then I got mad at myself -- for being so careless, though not without cause, and for something lost I treasured. Howled for the treasured memento lost.
Instead of letting that take hold, I got online and bought me an "anniversary" present from him to me....again. I found the same sundial. Yes, it isn't the one he gave me. He is not here to grow old with me. But I can grow old for us both, I suppose.
1 comment:
Deborah he's not gone so much as long as you remember him. I'm sorry for the loss of your kitties as well. I've got 7 cats myself.
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